I stood in front of the mirror—confused, excited, heart pounding—in November 2018. It was graduation day; and I was about to step into a world that, until then, had been completely foreign to me. But in that moment, all I could think of was my friends, in their respective dorms, buzzing around expertly wielding makeup brushes and using primers and highlighters to get ready for the ceremony. I, on the other hand, had barely owned anything apart from eyeliner (which I was loyal to) until the night before when one of my friends took me makeup shopping. My reflection stared back, a blank canvas waiting for its first brushstroke.
But, wait. Rewind a few years. You’d find a teenager convinced she had the oiliest skin in the world. Desperate to combat the relentless shine and occasional acne breakout, I turned to every DIY face pack recipe I could find. Think: multani mitti, that had become a skincare staple for me. Little did I know, my overzealous attempts were doing more harm than good, stripping my skin of moisture and balance. Those teenage years were a series of trial and error, marked by forehead zits and, obviously, frustration. It was a skincare disaster zone.
Trial and espresso
It wasn’t just about skincare mistakes; it was about a lack of understanding of my own skin and its needs. This realisation truly hit me on graduation day. With trembling hands (trembling, not because I was scared, but because I'd downed a shot of espresso to start the day on an enlivened note), I started to apply my makeup, following the steps the same friend had given me. Foundation before concealer, she said, so that’s what I did. But as I looked at myself, something felt off. The coverage was uneven and my dark circles assumed today was meant to be their day in the sun (it was my day in the sun).
Frustrated but determined (as usual), I wiped everything off and started again, this time reversing the steps. I applied the concealer first, then the foundation (an instinct)—and to my surprise, it worked for me. My skin looked more even and the makeup felt lighter. I was now slightly more confident about getting the following steps right—sweeping some bronzer and blush; and even going so far as to applying eyeshadow. An important lesson I learnt was: beauty routines are personal and what works for one person might not work for another. This understanding on a weekday morning (all props to the caffeine shot, of course) also helped me see my skincare struggles—and the untested solutions I found for them—in a different light. The self-talk that followed included phrases like 'listen to the skin', 'personalised regimens', 'proper research' and an amateur's favourite, 'you do you'.
But, so what?
Despite the curiosity sparked that day, I was too lazy to commit to any elaborate skincare routines or wear makeup to class or even parties. I was comfortable with how I looked (and still am)—the interest points were more sartorial. My interest in beauty remained dormant, limited to scrolling through some articles on my Instagram feed. Words like AHA, BHA, contouring and whatnot swirled around, leaving me more confused than enlightened. And I wasn't going to get into that when I'd just gone from 'student' to 'unemployed'—and Instagram was the hostile opponent against LinkedIn.
The awakening
The true turning point came five years later, in January 2024, when I was hired as a beauty writer. My culture and travel writing experience leading up to that day landed me the job; and it was a given that I could learn the intricacies of beauty along the way. The new role forced me to dive deeper and get started on some real education.
With my new job, I began to read and edit beauty stories—something that exposed me to well-researched content every day—and learn on the go. Just four months into the role now, I've swapped out harsh DIY treatments and scrubs for gentle cleansers and hydrating serums. My bathroom shelf, once cluttered with random products, has become an organised display of carefully chosen essentials. Another shelf in my closet has, wait for it, a makeup sponge. Developing a routine has been like finding a rhythm.
Writing had always been my outlet (I have an inside-out approach to creativity), but when it came to writing about beauty, the route has been outside-in—with external knowledge forming new layers of understanding within me. Learning about AHA, BHA, contouring—apart from ingredients like snail mucin, retinol and niacinamide—is now more fascinating than intimidating. I appreciate the delicate balance of my skin and the importance of tailored skincare. I do not assume a makeup enthusiast to be an unthinking soul (quite snobbish of me to think that way at some point in the past).
If my skin could speak, it would tell you I've become more understanding and less demanding in my relationship with it. And updated self-talk script reads: mistakes can be lessons and confusion is the first step towards clarity (pun intended).
